On the Eve of New Year’s Eve

Posted December 30, 2019 by tambarr1 in Favorites / 22 Comments

“A Fresh Start Isn’t a New Place, It’s a New Mindset”

Photographed by the lovely Linda Dion

As an entire decade comes to a close, I’m sitting down, contemplating the choices I have made in my life.  I am also reflecting on the past year, as I patiently await the new year about to bloom.  It is in these moments that I begin to acknowledge my successes and my regrets.  While I have a number of both, I begin to wonder what will make this new year any different? Will I finally experience a perfect year?  What parts of me will I take into 2020?

In 2019 I experienced an awakening like I have in no other year.  And as the year comes to a close, I realize that I am not the same person I have always been.  I recognize that I am more aware of who I am. I am more aware of how I think, and I have a better understanding of why I make some of the choices I make.   To be honest, I don’t know what the catalyst was, it could have been that I finally realized that I needed to start believing in myself the way I believe in my students.  That the time had come for me to believe that I am capable of doing some great things and that only I hold the power to decide to make my life my best life.

Over the past 10 years or so, while I’ve been in the search of myself, I have started and stopped reading too many books to count. I have read a little bit from books by a variety of people, all offering their ideas of how to live a better life.  I would get through the first 30-50 pages before I’d lose interest or before I’d take a little morsel of information I’d gleaned and proclaim myself enlightened. I never finished any of the books.  Maybe it was because I lacked the focus to finish them, or maybe it was because I lacked the motivation to commit to bettering myself. Maybe it was both, but whatever the case might have been, my book pile continued to grow as did my inability to live my best life.

One day that changed.  And while I’d like to be all poetic like Iyanla and tell you that “One Day My Soul Opened Up”, I really can’t pinpoint when the change occured, but it did, and I knew why the books hadn’t worked. They hadn’t worked because I wasn’t ready to change. They hadn’t worked because I had been looking for answers to questions and issues that I wasn’t ready to resolve.  I simply was not open to learning how to “fix my life” nor was I willing to change.  It wasn’t until I opened my eyes to really examine my life the beautiful messy life that it is that I began to discover me.

That’s the reason I am writing to you on the Eve of New Year’s Eve to share with you what it took me a whole decade to discover.

  1. You will never be good enough for the wrong person- so be good enough for yourself.
  2. Don’t pray for things or ask for things you are not ready to receive.
  3. Do not disrupt the lives of other people if you don’t have all your sh** together.
  4. Other people can’t fix you, you have to fix yourself.
  5. Don’t buy the clothes if you don’t plan to do laundry.
  6. Always shop for anything, groceries or clothes, with a list. Otherwise, you’ll be impulsive and distracted.
  7. Don’t lose yourself in an attempt to please others.
  8. The past really is the past.
  9. Mindset is not a word, it’s a lifestyle.
  10. Do all things with love and you will receive love in return.
  11. Speak the truth even if it hurts and especially when you are scared.
  12. Just start
  13. Being jealous of others makes you unhappy, insecure, and fake.
  14. Work to satisfy yourself.
  15. Choose to share your time with good people, funny people, caring people, working people, faithful people, and creative people.
  16. At least act as if you like yourself.
  17. Understand that what’s for you is for you.
  18. Be proud of all of your accomplishments.
  19. Do something for another person because it’s the selfless thing to do.
  20. Be consistent.

2019 was my awakening, and I don’t plan to sleep through the next decades of my life. Each day is a blessing, and I intend to treat it as such.

Have a wonderful 2020, and may it be filled with Love, Inspiration, and too many Thrills to count.

Much love and many blessings,



22 responses to “On the Eve of New Year’s Eve

  1. Theresa Phillips

    Good read! I love 4, 12 and 20. My words for 2020 are focus and consistency which are very important pieces to the puzzle. But God is my strength and without him there is no puzzle for I can do nothing apart from his wisdom, guidance, protection and provision. Be encouraged sis! There will be glory after this!

  2. Dionne

    I’m so excited to see where God will lead you to know that you support you!! Keep learning about you!! So proud of you!!

  3. LaForrest

    That was such a great read! Too many of these were for me. Thank you. I pray 2020 bring you nothing but the very best from God which you so deserve.

  4. Regina

    Awesome! Well said! May God continue to Bless you as you journey down this road of self discovery! Here’s to a wonderful 2020!! Love you!!

  5. Hoping to bring more good reads your way in 2020. I like 4, 12, and 20 too, but number 1 really hit home for me! I wish you a blessed year, and I’m so happy to have you in my life! Xoxo

  6. Tiffany

    Awesome words to structure the next decade of all our lives. My faves? 8 & 12. Simple yet complex for so many of my clients. I will be sure to share. Many blessings in the year ahead.

  7. shadae

    You inspire me to better myself every time I am in your presence. I hope this new decade brings you everything you couldn’t believe was possible. Love you!!

  8. Tiffany, I love this: “awesome words to structure our lives”! You are so right! Number 8 was a big one for me. I have to remind myself to live in the present daily, and please do share! Happy 2020 and more! Xoxo

  9. Lorri

    Beautiful my friend! Like most times in our lives whether together or apart we are reaching similar heights at the same times in our lives. Looking forward to what 2020 holds. Peace is the biggest blessing!

  10. Erica C Cole

    I am so happy to see you step out on faith and tell YOUR story!❤ So proud of you Tamara and I wish you much success in the decades to come!

  11. Tasha

    My Girl, This was an awesome read (I’m printing this to post on my fridge). Keep thriving Tam, I Love You!!’

  12. Sarah Bohrmann

    Enjoyed reading this! And you look amazing in the pics. Love you and Happy New Year!!! ❤