family and home

what our children need

love

 

My mama has told me on several occasions, “that when it comes to your kids, it’s not what you put on them that matters, it’s what you put in them.”  For a long time, this statement was just that, words that my mama said. I really didn’t put any stock into them. But for the past month, I have been paying close attention to my daughters. I have been taking notice as to how they interact with others and as well as with me.

You see my girls, Jamera and Tamia, are 15  years apart, and to say that they have different needs is an understatement. I mean Jamera is a college student with bills and college-student needs, and Tamia is a preschooler who needs an endless amount of play dates and chocolate chip cookies. At times, I am overwhelmed by the mere thought of meeting their needs; I find it hard be who they need me to be, but even if I am all over the place as a mom, my girls always look good (okay, almost always).

And that is why over the past month, my mama’s words have resonated even more so with me “it’s not what you put on them that matters, it’s what you put in them.” Her words now give me cause to pause and notice that while my girls differ in age and have their different individual needs, their emotional needs could not be more similar. Sure they need things: clothes, shoes, food, etc., but they also need me, my wisdom, my example. By observing them, I began to list my daughters’ needs, and I saw that both girls have the same needs, a realization that has made my life as a mother a lot easier.

What my daughters need from me

My Time

My Approval

My Support

My Touch

My Undivided Attention

My Love and Protection

My Trust

My Discipline

My Kindness and Patience

My Encouragement

Disclaimer: Now, this list was not culled from a variety of sources, I just generated it as a result of my interactions with my daughters and made a mental note of what I did to make those interactions successful.

I know that having a balanced life: work and home, can make you scattered and keep you quite busy, but remember that their needs should be important to you.